History Jokes

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Are you good at telling jokes?


Match the following questions and answers to make jokes.


1. Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?         a The Cs are.

2. Which famous French general stepped on a land mine?          b Sir Cumference!

3. Why is an archaeologist never successful?                                 c He was an                                                                                                                             arkitect!

4. Who was the greatest robber in history?                                     d Napoleon                                                                                                                              Blownapart!

5. What native American tribe has the most lawyers?                   e Atlas, he held up                                                                                                                   the whole world!

6. Which letters of the alphabet are like a Roman Emperor?         f The Sioux. /su:/

7. Who was the famous Mongolian who conquered nothing?        g That was an                                                                                                                           arrow escape!

8. Who invented King Arthur's round table?                                   h Genghis Khan't.

9. What did Noah do for a job?                                                         i Because there                                                                                                               were so many knights!

10. What did the Sheriff of Nottingham say when                          j Because his                Robin Hood fired at him?                                                        career lies in ruins.           


                                                                       Key

                                                      1 i                           6a
                                                      2d                           7h
                                                      3j                            8b
                                                      4e                           9c
                                                      5f                            10g

Each joke depends on a play on words. Which jokes rely on homophones (homophone - a word which is pronounced the same as another word but has a different meaning or a different spelling or both) 

and homonyms (homonym - a word that sounds the same or is spelled the same as another word but has a different meaning) for their humour?

Say It With Oxford Competition

To celebrate the publication of the ninth edition of the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary which includes the new Oxford iSpeaker, Oxford University Press organizes the new Say it with Oxford Competition. 

This competition will give your students the chance to create their own role-play video. They will be able to demonstrate the language they've learned from the iSpeaker. 

You could win a place on the Oxford English Language Teachers’ Academy Summer School 2015:

• Two-week Professional Development course at Worcester College, Oxford
• Includes half-board accommodation and a contribution of up to £750 towards the cost of your flight which will be reimbursed to you

For the winning students an iPad mini™ each. Plus, prizes for 5 highly commended entries.

What students need to do:

1. Choose a Conversation topic from the Conversations on Oxford iSpeaker. For example, Asking for help, or Making suggestions, etc.
2. In groups of two or three, write a script using some or all of the expressions in the Conversation video and the Useful Language box for your chosen topic. Everyone in your group needs to speak!
3. Perform your script on video. Be as creative as you wish! Your video should be a maximum of 2 minutes long.
4. Your video should show how well you can use the words and everyday expressions that are in your chosen Conversation topic on Oxford iSpeaker. Your creativity in the use of language as well as the way you work together will be considered. You'll all need to speak clearly so the judges can hear what you say!

What teachers need to do:

1. Read the Terms and Conditions
2. Upload your students' video (s) on YouTube.
3. Fill in the entry form and upload the URL of your video. If you are entering more than one video, fill in one entry form per video.

The closing date is Friday 5th June (midnight GMT)

 Good luck!

Inductive and Deductive Grammar Teaching: Pros and Cons

In the ELT classroom and in the majority of published ELT material, grammar is generally taught in one of two main ways: deductively or inductively. 

This webinar compares and contrasts these two approaches and explores their pros and cons.

Dates: 28th - 30th April 2015

Times: 10:00 - 11:30, 15:30 - 17:00 (BST)

Speaker: Jon Hird

Register

The Practice Test Stories Competition

This Practice Test Stories Competition is run by Cambridge University Press and Cambridge English Language Assessment. 

If you've used any of their practice tests to improve your exam result and it changed your life in a way, upload either your written story (up to 100 words) or your video story (of up to 2 minutes) for a chance to win an iPad mini. 

You must be over 18 to enter the contest or over 13 and have your parent and guardian's consent.

One winner will be chosen based on the credibility of the story, the compelling nature of the story and the perceived English language level of the entrant. 

The contest will close on 30th April 2015, 08.00 BST.

Enter here

Good luck! 

Viewing Global & Cultural Topics Through Your Students' Lens

In this practical workshop, Ben and Ceri will explore cultural topics with secondary students, sharing ideas for how teachers can place students' culture, community and identity at the heart of the teaching practice.

Practical classroom tasks from Eyes Open and Uncover, the new Cambridge Discovery Education TM secondary courses will be shown.

Date: Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Time: 16:00 - 17:00 CEST

Speakers: Ben Goldstein & Ceri Jones

Register

Metaphors - The Body, Light, Nature, Movement

Metaphors to do with the body

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• You shouldn't point the finger at anyone for this difficult situation. It's solely your fault.

• We had a few hiccups when we set up the business, however, we have made steady progress.

• It broke her heart when he left her for another woman.      

• The beauty of New Zealand takes my breath away.     

• His awful chilhood experiences scarred him for life.      

Metaphors to do with light

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• I really couldn't solve the problem and then the answer came to me in a flash.

• When my children got the prize, they were glowing with pride.      

• My sister's style has sparked my interest in fashion.     

• David has lived his whole life being overshadowed by his famous elder brother.     

• I was wondering why she was being extremely nice. It suddenly dawned on me. She wanted my money.

Metaphors to do with nature

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• Laura and Justin have a stormy relationship. They often have some blazing rows. 

• Her career blossomed after she was nominated for an Oscar.  

• Helen was in floods of tears when she was told that her brother had been injured in a car accident.      

• The root of all his problems is definitely lack of money.     

• Sorry. I haven't the foggiest idea what you are talking about.      

Metaphors to do with movement

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• I've reached a crossroads in life. What should I do next? Help me!

• He followed in his father's footsteps and became a lawyer.

• This politician gave a long, rambling speech on the subject of fiscal policy.

• We aren't getting any nearer to solving the problem. We're just going round in circles.      

• Europe has made impressive strides in improving energy efficiency for the last ten years.    

Are you familiar with each of the metaphors? Do you use any of these on a daily basis?

Planning Teacher Professional Development

Cambridge English Language Assessment invites you to register for a new webinar: Planning Teacher Professional Development on Monday 27 April 14.00 - 15.00 (UK time*) and Wednesday 29 April 10.00 - 11.00 (UK time*).

This webinar is aimed at anyone interested in planning a programme of continuing professional development, such as teachers, Directors of Studies or Exams Officers.

The webinar will present an overview of the Cambridge English Teaching Framework and the research behind it. A new online Teacher Development Tracker will be demonstrated - a self-assessment tool for teachers which can be used to develop profiles and identify skills gaps. Ways of preparing a professional development plan for teachers and trainees will be explored and a range of practical ideas and resources for supporting professional development will be introduced.

Presenters: Marie Therese Swabey & Liz Robinson

Monday 27 April 2015, 14.00 - 15.00 (UK time)

Wednesday 29 April 2015, 10.00 - 11.00 (UK time)

Understanding Language: Learning and Teaching

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''Understanding Language: Learning and Teaching'' is a free online course which suggests some answers to the questions such as 'What is language?', 'How do we learn meaning in a new language?', 'What is easy and hard about learning another language?', 'And what is the best way to teach other languages?'. It has been developed by the University of Southampton and the British Council, and draws on their exciting joint online course, MA in English Language Teaching.

If you are a fully participating learner in “Understanding Language: Learning and Teaching,” you will be eligible to apply for a scholarship to cover part of the MA fees. You will find out more when you join the course.

The course takes place over four weeks. It will introduce you to some of the latest ideas in research and practice in language learning and teaching.

Also, the case of English will be investigated – the most widely learnt and taught language in the world. How has English achieved this position? What are the implications of the spread of English for policy, teaching and other languages?

The course includes quizzes, activities, discussions and videos filmed around the world. The videos feature experts such as British Council teachers, and staff and students at the University of Southampton.

How do you use language in YOUR life? 

What is YOUR experience of language learning and teaching?

Time: 20 April 2015

Educators: Sara Pierson & Darren Paffey

Register here

   Watch the trailer

Supporting English Teachers Working in Inclusive Classrooms

Two renowned ELT experts, David Crabtree and Sally Farley, will give a talk on teaching English to children with special educational needs at the premises of The Regional Centre for Professional Development in Čačak on April 18, 2015. It has been accredited by the Institute for Educational Advancement (Code No. S9282015).

Applications close TONIGHT at 11:59 p.m. If you are interested in attending, please contact The Regional Centre in Čačak, Serbia (032/320-100) or

your local ELTA coordinator at ketty101176@yahoo.co.uk.

Solutions Writing Challenge #3

This webinar draws on content from the Solutions course.

This webinar will cover the third of the top 3 writing challenges teachers face in the classroom, as voted for by real teachers from around the world: It's hard to find enough class time for writing.

Oxford teacher trainer, Elna Coetzer will cover a range of strategies and ideas which you can use in the classroom straight away.

Dates: 22nd - 24th April 2015

Times: 14:00 - 15:00, 17:00 - 18:00 (BST)

Speaker: Elna Coetzer

Register here

10 Fame and Success Quotations

Here's a quick exercise. You should match the lines to make quotations about fame and success. I hope you'll enjoy and find it interesting.

1. ''A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,     

 must come down.'' Anonymous

2. ''I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.

like success.'' Proverb

3. ''There is only one thing worse than being talked about,

and that is not being talked about.'' Oscar Wilde

4. ''What goes up, 

try, try again.'' Robert Bruce 

5. ''Winning isn't everything, 

and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.'' Fred Allen 

6. ''Whenever a friend succeeds, 

I want to achieve it through not dying.'' Woody Allen 

7. ''Genius is one per cent inspiration,

a little something in me dies.'' Gore Vidal

8. ''If at first you don't succeed, 

but it sure as hell beats losing.'' Charlie Brown

9. ''Nothing succeeds

ninety-nine per cent perspiration.'' Thomas Edison

10. ''Let me tell you about the rich.

They are different from you and me.'' F. Scott Fitzgerald

Which is your favourite? Do you agree with any of them?

What is your recipe for success? 

My Creative Classroom Activity 2015

Izdavačka kuća The English Book organizuje konkurs za najbolju aktivnost u nastavi engleskog jezika pod nazivom My Creative Classroom Activity.

Izrazite svoju kreativnost, snalažljivost i originalnost kroz jednu aktivnost koju ste osmislili i isprobali u učionici koristeći neki od udžbenika koje nudi The English Book (Oxford University Press i MacMillan Education).

Može se koristiti bilo koji medij i materijal, a potrebno je poslati opis aktivnosti uz objašnjenje kome je namenjena, s kojim ciljem osmišljena, način na koji se izvodi i šta je sve potrebno za njeno izvođenje. Formular za opis aktivnosti se nalazi ovde.

Možete poslati video materijal, fotografije, postere, ili bilo koji krajnji proizvod vaše aktivnosti.

Tri najbolja rada biće nagrađena putovanjem u Englesku, uz brojne nagrade za učesnike.

Rok za dostavu radova: 30.04.2015.

Proglašenje nagrađenih i dodela nagrada: 30.05.2015.

Vaše radove, sa popunjenim formularom, možete poslati na imejl-adresu: ClassroomActivity@englishbook.rs ili poštom na adresu: The English Book, Staro Sajmište 29, 11070 Novi Beograd, Srbija.

Srećno!

Shaping the Way We Teach English - Webinar Course 16

The Office of English Language Programs offers the 16th webinar course entitled Shaping the Way We Teach English.  The 6 online seminars of the course cover a variety of topics and are intended for teachers of English or future teachers of English around the world. Participants who attend 4 out of the 6 webinars will receive e-certificates. Participants are encouraged to join the associated Ning (http://www.shapingenglish.ning.com) to participate in discussions, view or download video and other materials from the sessions, and access recordings of the webinars.

The series will take place from April 22 to July 1, 2015.  Each 90-minute webinar will be held every other Wednesday at 8:00 a.m. in Washington, D.C.

Register here by April 15.

Schedule:

What Happened to Listening? Practical Tips for Increasing Listening Practice Time

Presenter: Kevin McCaughey

Wednesday April 22, 2015

8:00-9:30am EDT

Spoken Grammar and Its Role in the English Language Classroom

Presenter: Amanda Hilliard

Wednesday May 6, 2015

8:00-9:30am EDT

Going Green: Merging Environmental Education and Language Instruction

Presenter: Staci Hauschild

Wednesday May 20, 2015

8:00-9:30am EDT

Rock and Roll English Teaching

Presenter: Tim Robinson

Wednesday June 3, 2015

8:00-9:30am EDT

Introducing the New English Teaching Forum

Presenter: FORUM team

Wednesday June 17, 2015

8:00-9:30am EDT

Talking to Learn across Cultures and Communities

Presenter: Spencer Salas

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

8:00-9:30am EDT